Patience, persistence, and sheer stubborn-headedness

Let me start by saying: I am NOT a patient person. I would definitely say I’m a rather IMpatient person, in fact. My psychiatrist once laughed at me and said, “Boredom is like death to people with ADD.” He was talking about me. He was RIGHT. I’d rather get bitten by a dog than be bored.

Why yes, this is a problem.

But for you, it’s a blessing! First of all, I don’t have the patience to practice something over and over and OVER again, so I tend toward solutions that work quickly. (I also tend toward “good enough,” at least when I can keep my perfectionist streak in check. Do my dogs sit perfectly at the door when a guest comes over? Nah. They sit well enough for me to open the door, and they don’t jump, and I can direct them to give us space for a second, and, eh, good enough. The dogs I board and train tend to do much better, because I’m getting paid. My good enough may not be my client’s good enough!)

Okay, that was a tangent. You expect no less from me, right? Right.

I’m not a patient person. First, I want quick, non-traumatic solutions. Second, I’m not going to tell you to be patient.

However, patience — or something like it — is often needed when training a dog. So I’m going to tell you my big secret: I’m not patient, but I am stubborn. Like a mule. I have a stubborn streak as wide as the Nile is long. I can dig in my heels and narrow my eyes and out-stubborn anyone.

Or anything.

Here’s a cool thing: when they study packs of dogs in the wild, what they find is that there isn’t an alpha dog. There are dogs who often get their way, and there are other important roles, but the thing I care about here and now? The dogs who get their way aren’t violent. In fact, they’re very non-violent. They’re stubborn.

Lily has demonstrated this time and time again for me. She decides she wants to lie in a bed that’s already occupied. So she goes over and lays on and around the other dog. The other dog flashes stress signals. She ignores them, or wags lightly, or gives the other dog a lick. The other dog, realizing there’s no fight but also that this very obnoxious old lady isn’t going to stop, gets up and walks away. Lily wins.

So when I’m handling a dog and it tries to attack another dog across the street and I stop dead and lift slightly on my leash, keeping “my” dog from lunging while lifting their head up (leaving the front paws on the ground) until they get annoyed with that position and let their haunches drop and — hey! — they’re suddenly sitting and I can reward them? It’s not patience getting me to stand there and wait three minutes while “my” dog acts like a maniac. It’s sheer stubbornness.

I’m thinking, Ohhh, no. You’re not going to drag me around. You’re not going to terrorize that dog and owner any more than you are right now. You ARE going to sit down, even if I have to stand here all. Day. Long. Because I WILL. Just try me.

Not very enlightened of me, is it? I don’t care. When I get my way I smile at the dog and tell them they did a good job. Because they did! They did exactly what I wanted, because I am one stubborn mofo.

So if you’re not the patient type, don’t fear! Just be stubborn.