COVID Concerns: Socializing
Happy puppy day! Is it puppy day? I have no idea if there is such a thing, but when you have a puppy, every day is puppy day.
Whether or not you want it to be.
Puppies are a lot of work, and a lot of people decided that the best time to get a puppy is when they’re working from home. It’s smart, really; better to be around so that your puppy isn’t isolated or having to pee on pads when you want them to pee outside, etc. Of course, there’s one big thing that’s on all the minds of the puppy owners: how do you socialize your puppy with people or other dogs when everyone is remaining at a safe social distance?
Well, I have good news for you! First, let’s debunk a big puppy myth. (If you don’t have a puppy, but rather a rescue, you can skip a couple of paragraphs and then read on.)
The Big Myth:
You have to socialize your puppy before 3.5-5 months of age (depending on who you ask). They need to see 60-100 different people and dogs outside their family (depending on who you ask). After that, it’s Too Late and your puppy is Doomed because you’re past that developmental stage and their brain is locked as-is.
The Reality:
Sure, there’s a little bit of brain development around then that helps absorb social skills. It’s also easier for people to learn a new language before the age of 5. I don’t know about you, but I learned Spanish in Junior College, and American Sign Language a year later. I’m sure I’d be better at either if I’d done it before I was 5, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t learn them. It just means I worked a little harder, and unless I really, really work on it, I’ll always have an accent. The same is true of the social development period in puppies. Sure, it’s a little easier during that age, but it’ll happen whenever. Of course, during that age it’s also easier to traumatize them with a bad experience that’ll last the rest of their lives without a lot of work to undo it, so…e
“But Jenna,” I hear you cry. “Why do most dog trainers say otherwise? You’ve got to be wrong.”
Yeah, I don’t blame you, I’d think I was wrong, too. When it comes to this socializing myth of Doom, it helps to look back a little. When Board Certified Veterinary Behaviorists (from now on I’ll refer to them at vet behaviorists) started talking about it in the mid-90s, they were talking about leaving the puppy with their dog family to let mama, siblings, and maybe other dogs teach the puppy its social skills. This remained the case until one specific vet behaviorist (who shall remain unnamed) declared in the late 90s and early 00s that puppies needed to see 100 puppies and 100 people before the age of 3.5 months or they’d be Doomed. He then started a franchise, wrote books, taught classes, and got those books into schools for vet behaviorists and dog trainers. His untried, unresearched theory became law to the next generation of dog trainers. Who wants to test it when you might Doom a puppy to a lifetime of fear and aggression?
It’s SUCH phooey. I have proof! The proof is: every dog you’ve ever seen. Do you really think every rescue had that exposure? Or every back yard dog who loves guests? Or every household dog that’s loved but whose owners worked or were going to school or had the flu in those crucial months? How about service dogs, which aren’t allowed to go see other dogs from day one, because you don’t want them getting distracted by the possibility of saying hi when they need to be working? No. Heck, Cash saw about four people outside his family in the first 8 months of life, and maybe 3 dogs, and he was the best socialized dog I know BY FAR. In twenty years of training dogs, I’ve met four people who managed to introduce their puppies to more than 60 people and/or dogs. I met them because in every case, those dogs were super fearful or super aggressive. I’m NOT saying socializing your puppy will make them fearful or aggressive. My point is simply that lots of dogs don’t have issues and weren’t socialized young.
Deep breath annnnnnnd… let the stress go. Phew.
Now, some socializing is certainly helpful, but since you don’t need a TON and you don’t need it within the first weeks of getting your puppy, it becomes a lot easier in these COVID days. First, the general rules of socializing, for both puppies and dogs:
If your puppy’s tail is low, do not let them go see that person or dog. A low tail indicates timidity, uncertainty, and fear. If your puppy is feeling those things and then goes to say hi, then at best they learn that even if they don’t want to, they have to anyway. At worst they learn that AND they learn that the human is overwhelming and scares them, or the dog over-sniffs them terrifyingly or is aggressive.
Protect your puppy. Lots of puppies and dogs will give a low wag (anxiety!) and crawl toward the scary thing, thinking that the only way to be safe is to make friends. Our job is to let them know that, no, they can avoid it and we’ll protect them. Then they start thinking, “Hey, my parent is listening! If they’re listening, I can take chances and go visit, because I know that if I get scared, they’ll see it and help!” And then we have good experiences. Good experiences, not tons of experiences, is key.
Now, how to do it?
Do you have a friend or family member with a dog who’s willing to visit in a yard or park with everyone masked? Cool, you’ve done it! What about a neighbor? A dog walker? A dog daycare that dogs puppy socials? Many of them are doing them without owners present; just make sure they have enough puppies to sort them into appropriate play groups, with a dog trainer in the room to make sure everyone is safe.
There are apps that come in handy, as well. Nextdoor is a great one; post asking if anyone else has a puppy and they want to safely socialize.
On leash socializing works, too! Follow the tail rules for your puppy (and make sure your puppy doesn’t drag you over there, learning that pulling gets them social time), and for the other dog as well. If the other dog’s tail is stiff, they do NOT want to say hi. Low? Nope, thanks. Super high? They really want to say hi, but might be overwhelming. Mid level and wagging? Perfect! Go say hi to that dog, staying at the end of your six foot leash for proper social distancing.
The same, of course, applies to humans.
“What about the stranger getting COVID germs on my dog, and my dog bringing them back to me on their coat?” I hear you cry.
GOOD QUESTION. Whenever I’m somewhere where other people petted my dogs, I bring them home and spray them with sanitizing spray.
Oh, don’t give me that look. It’s dog-safe sanitizing spray! Read the ingredients: a lot of “skin safe” sprays have alcohol and water, and that’s it. They’re coat-safe, too (though I wouldn’t let my dog drink it; THAT would not be safe.)
“Wait,” I hear you cry. “That’s your advice? See a few people safely and say hi on leash?”
Well… yeah. You don’t need twenty minutes to have done some socializing; you need thirty seconds to say hi and move on.
“This seems too easy. It can’t be right.”
So much of dog training is surprisingly easy, if we just get out of our own way. If you can do this, listening to their tail, and say hi to someone on leash once a week for the first year of their life, you’ve done your socializing. If you ask them to sit before you let them go visit (guide them into it if you need to, with a hand lifting on their collar or chest and the other hand pushing down on their butt), then they learn not to pull to say hi, either, and you’ve gotten around a lot of possible leash reactivity.
Okay! Ready? Set? Go socialize safely, and listen to your dog!
