Fireworks (and other things that go boom)

Ha! Gotcha! There’s always more ado. If you are one of those people who declares, “You should desensitize your dog to fireworks!” I would like to bow down to you. While I’m down there, I’m going to tie your shoelaces in a knot, so that the next time you step forth to proclaim inanity you fall on your sanctimonious face. Too harsh? Probably. You probably don’t know that a surprising number of dogs have PTSD, and may or may not ever be desensitized. Other people work, a LOT, or have children, or both, or are a single parent or dealing with their own mental or physical issues, and don’t have the extra time to put into desensitizing their dog. (Desensitize, take them for a walk, or get groceries? Hmmm…) As someone with mental issues and what would, to others, to seem extra time, I’m just going to take a moment to say that there are a lot of “easy” things I can’t do.

If you are an owner who CAN desensitize your dog, but didn’t realize that was possible until too late (or just now), then for next year, go forth and begin desensitization! Yay! NOW without further ado…

If Your Dog (or Puppy) is Noise Sensitive

Now, steps to ensure your dog will be just fine this year, even if they haven’t been before.

1. Give your dog something nice and calming a couple of hours beforehand: a sedative, Benedryl, CBD treats, some Trazodone, whatever your vet gave you. You need to give it 2 hours beforehand for it to be fully kicked in before the first boom starts, and some of these things take a LONG time to kick in for a dog. Ignore the label if it says to shorten that window. Trust me on this one.
2. Wear your dog out. Today, for instance, I’ll be taking Doc and my two boarders to the dog park. I expect it to be crowded. If my dog can’t do a dog park, we’re going to go on 2-3 long walks (instead of the normal 1). The goal: dogs that are so tired they sleep through the booms.
3. Bring your dog into the house. I think this goes without saying, but just in case.
4. Play music, preferably something with boom-sounding things: symbols, angry teenage music, whatever. I know, we think, “but classical is best to calm, right?” Sure. But things with booms are best to hide the booms outside. (Alternately, you can do what I do: watch or put on a movie with a lot of explosions!)
5. Close the windows. “My dog wouldn’t go through the screen,” I hear you cry. Uh huh. The cost of being wrong is a missing dog. The cost of closing the windows is… oh yeah, nothing.
6. If your dog is crate trained, crate them.
7. Give them something ridiculously delicious to do instead, like those raw bones you never give them because ew gross, who wants raw bone juice on the floor, or stuffing a kong full of peanut butter, canned dog food, canned cat food, yogurt, pumpkin — whatever — then freezing it, and THEN giving it to them. Mmmm. Delish.
8. Finally, stay home. If your dog is freaking out and doesn’t have a crate, put them on a leash. If you can stop pacing or barking behavior simply by keeping them beside you, with only a little room to get up and into a more comfortable position, it will dramatically decrease their anxiety. I don’t know why, but it works like a charm.
9. “But Jenna!” I hear you cry. “I wanted to go see the fireworks!” Please insert the most effective, quelling, unimpressed look here, because that’s what I’m giving the screen right now. BUT, counting for human stupidity error arrogance lack of compassion …-ity, if you must leave, pre-print “lost dog” flyers so you’re ready as soon as you get home. OKAY, FINE, do all of the above. That’s the best advice I can give you. EXCEPT…
10. Instead of going to see fireworks, have a nervous dog party! I know, COVID. Have a nervous dog party with others who have been vaccinated and wear a mask anyway if it’s more than 5 people! Tell people to bring their dogs! Rules: all dogs must be kept either inside, on a leash, or in a crate at all times. “Will this help my dog feel better? :D” I hear you cry. Probably not. But they’ll be anxious either way, and at least this way you get to enjoy yourself and stop feeling bad about your anxious dog (which WILL help them feel better).

If Your Dog (or Puppy) is Not Noise Sensitive (or if You’ve Never Noticed)

If you’ve never noticed, then they’re probably not noise sensitive. To repeat myself: where I live, people start setting off fireworks as early as, oh, Februrary 15th. No, I kid (I don’t), they really start (in earnest) a few days before the 4th of July. If that’s the case, keep an eye on your dog (or puppy, let’s just assume “dog” includes “puppy” and vice versa) the evenings leading up to the 4th. Do they spook at those booms and pops? Do they spook at the first one, then ignore them if they continue? If this is the case, relaaaaax.

“Oh good, I can just take off, then!” I hear you cry. Well, sure, if your dog is an adult and you’re completely positive they don’t care about fireworks. But in that case, why are you here? If your dog is a puppy, new to you, or nervous, I would suggest some prep work.

1. If they’re nervous enough to need medication or herbal supplements, go read the above section, because that’s really what you want to do. You can come back and read 3 and 4 here.
2. If they don’t need meds (or they’re a puppy), read the above section anyway, but skip 1, 6, 9, and 10.
3. Now, when you hear booms and your dog takes notice (usually either sitting up, barking, or giving little woofs), tell them (in a casual voice) that everything is fine. Call them over if needed (or go get them and put them on a leash so you don’t have to go get them again), and give them pets or treats for coming back. Distract them a bit when they do it again (which they will). If they bark or woof, ignore it. I often tap them on the top of their head to get their attention, and when I have it I tell them how much I love them and other ooey gooey things like that. Sometimes I give them a treat. If they’re struggling to stay focused on me I’ll ask them to do things — sit, down, sit or shake are my favorites, because it doesn’t require that I move. As the booms go off more and more, I keep repeating this. I can even take them for a walk (…around the house or closed-in yard) if that distracts them best. I’m going to tell them how proud of them I am for their bravery (even if they’re not being brave) and how fun and exciting these booms are (even if they look at me like I’ve lost my mind).
4. Have a confident-dog party! This is especially awesome with puppies. If you know someone who has a dog that isn’t bothered by fireworks, invite them over. (If they’d rather go watch fireworks, ask if you can just borrow the dog.) When a puppy sees that the other dogs aren’t bothered, they might need a little distraction or praise from you, but most often they relax as well. Ahhhhh.
5. Go enjoy the fireworks! No, I’m totally kidding. If you felt the need to read this, you should stay home. But hey, take these steps and very likely next year you can go enjoy the fireworks, while the dogs chill out in the house and sleep right through the harmless booms.

Jenna